Hour of Power - Articles

Author: Hacim

Dudes, Beer, and the bonds that bring the two together.

What makes friends? What are the ingredients that create bonds between man? Bonds that author the screenplays of our very existence. What is it that makes a man look at another man and say, “Dude, this is the best day of my life.”? What mythical worldly force brings about a scenario where a man is holding eyeglasses and driving a car, both of which belong to the man next to him puking out of a moving car window? The accumulation of my life’s experiences have brought me to one simple answer….freedom. The freedom to live life for the moment. The freedom to spend all of your time with your closest friends. Finally, and most importantly, the freedom to get as fucking smashed as humanly possible.

Freedom is a funny word. Two and a quarter years ago, men in this country fought and died against all odds for the chance to live free. Today, in the year 2005, most men have pissed that freedom away. Shackling themselves down with power ties, Toyota payments, and cubicles. Too many of our college students, have traded away their freedom for GPA’s, Summa Cum Laude’s, and other forms of temporary statistical satisfaction.

The truth of the matter is that this country was founded on freedom. Men and women who had had enough of the tyrannical and unjust bullshit of their homelands longing to live free. It is therefore no mystery that in a land made up of freedom seekers, that a young man like myself can look at his life and feel outlandishly grateful for having such friends.

I would now like to say a few words about each of my closest friends, the guys who took a sarcastic wise ass who didn’t drink, like me; and who molded him into a sarcastic wise ass who can polish off a triple beer bong right after two hours at a Chinese buffet. They are the same three guys who are responsible for the hour-of-power program and website that literally tens of people enjoy every year.

Hubitch: Perhaps one of the greatest mechanical minds of the Midwest. Imagine taking a show like “this old house” or “Extreme Home Makeover” and adding a thirty pack of Miller Light and 30 Gigs of pornography. That would be one fucking bad ass show, and Hubitch is one fucking cool dude. He is the guy you go to if you need a beer bong fashioned out of a vacuum cleaner, or if by some sort of drunken mishap you got a zip strip cutting off circulation in your finger. He’ll say shit to make you feel like a dumbass, but he’ll also lend a hand to a grown man who is stuck in a triple knotted shoe.

Nate: What can I say? Nate’s a fucking ladies’ man. Men want to be him and women want to wake up next to him. Don’t let his pussy-winning smile fool you. Any dude who tries to start shit, or who is fool enough to insult one of Nate’s friend is gonna get a poundin. He’s like Liono off of the Thundercats. Every time he’s about to take on a group of guys, his friends eyes light up and they magically appear so that they can also take place in the brawl. Thundercats was a great fucking show and Nate’s a great fucking dude. Anytime somebody wants to drink away a shitty day, they need to look no further than Nate. Once you enter the Natrix, you are guaranteed to not remember a damn thing. The only clues you’ll wake up with are a bag of worthless stolen items and a compound bow. Good fucking times.

Mike: Every group needs a leader. Until ours shows up, Mike is doing his best. He’s the go to guy for everything. Very few things get planned or accomplished without Mike. He has a clear head and probably has the most professional work ethic of any of us. But get this mother fucker drunk and he turns into one irrational son of a bitch. After a few a case of Miller Light and a Cubs loss, Mike travels to a world where all quarrels can be solved with any number of manly showdowns, involving: beer chugging, arm wrestling, and (my personal favorite) cartwheels. He’s also the “not it” champion of the universe, as I can’t recall a time when this dude’s had to get up to do anything.

There’s not much more I can say about these guys. They each have their own unique contributions to our posse of drunkenness and stupidity, and in return, I hang out with the dumb fuckers.

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