Hour of Power - Articles

Author: Hacim

A Brief History of Hour of Power

Years ago, long before the realization of Internet porn or pocket vaginas, there existed men. I’m talking real men here, not the watered down Old Navy performance fleece sporting man-pussies that now roam the earth. These men had three things on their minds: women, beer, and how best to combine the two. Two of the most popular combinations were “using beer to get women” and “bitch, get me a beer!” Not much is known about these ancient men. There seems to be no written history of their existence, due to the fact that they were most likely too fucked up to write anything down. Rumor has it they had three dongs, six arms, and 99 lives (when they played Contra). And, like the Gladiators of Rome, these men were known for their ancient games. No, I’m not talking about any of that Yu-Gay-Oh shit. These games involved getting large groups of people fucked up, just for the sake of getting fucked up. Armed with a shot glass and a case of beer, these warriors engaged in an hour long battle of both mind and body…and bladder. This is how “the men” separated themselves from “the boys” and hoped to attach themselves to “the ladies”. And thus, HOUR OF POWER was created; in a sense of social recreation and general competition for all mankind. Even women found themselves enticed by the opportunity to out drink their male counterparts. Political correctness and reality television have all but erased this species of man from existence. Today’s men are mere shadows of their ancestral greatness. We have inherited only two things: the instinctual hunt for pussy and the greatest tool ever devised by man…beer.

In life you are given so few opportunities to separate yourself from the herd. There comes a time in most young mens’ lives when they discover that their wang borders on a thin line between average and pathetic and they realize, “I need beer.” This is your chance. Grab a shot glass and prove to yourself and to a roomful of people that you’re not a pussy. And ladies, this is the opportunity to show that women can keep up with men in games that don’t involve nets. It’s only six beers and if you have a shitty time at least you can take comfort in the fact that you won’t remember any of it when you wake up tomorrow. With Queer Eye TV, and low carb beers, our current society threatens to kill what little we have managed to salvage of a once masculine culture. And, so, I say we fight back. We must separate ourselves from this pussified mainstream society and say, “Hey! I’m gettin fucked up tonight! …who’s with me?!”

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