Hour of Power - Articles

Author: Kyle

Beer, Bitches, and Baseball

Now that winter has retreated into the ball freezing hell from whence it came, and baseball opening day has come and gone it is now time for me to reflect and give insight to my favorite time of year: Spring! Now I don’t like spring for some fairy ass reason like the flowers blooming, or the birds chirping, I love spring for the three B’s: Beer, Bitches, and Baseball. Now sure you can drink beer all year round (which I do) but in the winter I can’t drink it outside, and that just sucks the hair off my sack. So therefore I look to spring to bring my random acts of drunkenness outside.

In addition to consumption outside, the scenery of spring is also much improved from winter. Like I said before I am not talking about some flowers blooming lick my ass gay shit I am talking about tits. Yes tits, melons, jugs, fun bags, and milk sacks. To me the end of winter is not the coming of spring; it is the coming of mammary season. The time of the year when the ladies shed those ugly fucking sweaters and clad themselves in low-cut, thong-showing, look at my goods, nail me on the professor’s desk kind of clothing. That is the main reason why I get hammered outside, now sure yelling phrases like, “Damn baby I would love to drive you around in my meat wagon”, could possibly get you arrested but it is well worth it. Now on to the reason why I love spring so very, very much: Baseball. Ah yes baseball, America’s pastime, and the only real reason why I care where about a bunch of racing sausages. Now to the average observer baseball is merely a sport where a bunch of dudes swing a tree at a bound ball of string, but to the real fan baseball is so much more. Baseball is a just flat out dirty fucking game. Just think about the overabundance of sexual references in the game of baseball. Well let me help you out:

  1. Catcher – In baseball terms this is the guy that is behind the plate catching what the pitcher throws however in sex talk this is the girl that gets blasted with a fat load of spunk on her face, hence she catches the jizz.
  2. Double – In baseball this is a two base hit, but is sex talk it obviously means double penetration, so if a batter hits a double off the wall it translates into me and my friend did a little bit of double penetration to this slut bag on the floor. (It is really simple to interpret these things isn’t it?)
  3. Bag – In baseball this is a reference to the base but in porno talk we all know they are referring to tea bagging (i.e. putting your sweaty balls in to someone’s mouth as they lay in slumber or by request.)

These are just a few of the dirty things in the world of baseball but I’ll leave it up to you to enjoy the rest of the exciting aspects of the wonderful world of beer, bitches, and baseball.

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